Fairy Tale Marriages

Turn your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 4:es 6-8. 1 Timothy chapter 4:es 6-8. The title of the series is marriages made in heaven but have to be lived on earth. And as we get into this series, we're going to look at a number of different marriages from the Bible to learn our lessons from them. But before we get into that section of it today, I I want to do something a little bit different. And I'm going to use some uh some fables or fairy tales, some of the princesses that you're very familiar with as my illustration. My granddaughter Kena loves princess dresses and uh she wears a different one every day.

Uh and and and when she wears them, I I am not as familiar with all the different ones as you know. I know Snow White and I know Sleeping. I know a couple of them, but I'm not really familiar. So I I never can be sure exactly which one she's wearing. And so when I see her, I'll say, "Well, is that Ariel?" And she'll look at me with this disgusted look on her face like, "You don't know anything." and she'll say, "No, it's Elsa." And uh so uh I I'm not real familiar with all these different princes and everything, but uh you probably are. Uh you've grown up with these stories and and you're familiar with them.

So I want to use them as an illustration. In 1 Timothy chapter 4 and beginning with verse number six, it says, "If thou put the brethren in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, where to thou already attain. But refuse profane and all wise fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness. For bodily excise profit little, but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and that which is to come." This is a faithful saying and worthy of all expectation. So, the Bible's not a book of fables, but I'm going to use some familiar fables to illustrate some Bible truths.

A and the first one is the story of Cinderella. You you're familiar with that story and uh how that Prince Charming had just found her and she runs away. Uh talk about playing hard to get, you know. Uh he just found the love of his life and and she takes off and runs away and hides. uh he found her. In Proverbs 18:22, the Bible says, "Who so findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtain the favor of the Lord." And and it's good to find a wife and it's good, my wife has changed my life for the better. And I'm so thankful that I found her. Now, as I said last week, the Bible never says anything about finding a good husband.

It it never says this that finding a husband is a good things. So, ladies, just quit looking. Enjoy what you have. All right? And if you're still out there looking, you're just going to have to settle for whatever you can find, I guess. But uh um you know what what's interesting with Cinderella is like I said, he met her, fell in love with her, and then what does she do? She tries to hide her true self. She she doesn't want him to see who she really is. In Proverbsap 18 14 and 15, it says, "The spirit of man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear. The heart of the prudent getth knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge."

I have found in my counseling over the years that many women and many men as well are afraid to show their true self to their partner, their spouse. Uh they're not willing to be transparent and really show who they are. in my marriage series which is at ohana.shurch/marriage. One of the sections of lessons about our differences. We're different by personality. We're different as male and female and we're also different by who we are from where we came from. Uh many of our experiences in life have made us a different person. And and so many women are afraid. They're just afraid even after years of marriage to show their true self to their p spouse.

and and and then what happens is their spouse then takes it personally as a rejection of them. I I'll give you an example of that. I was dealing with a couple one time who was having uh intimacy relationships uh physical sexual relationship problems and we're talking about it and it turned out as we dug in a little bit and this couple had been married for a number of years, it turned out she had been sexually abused as a as a teenager and uh every time they had sex that that she would respond because of that abuse. And the things that he did was bringing back memories and so she would not respond well to him.

And uh and he took it as rejection. He took it he didn't want to be with her that he didn't want to have sex with him. Uh that that that that it was something wrong with him. And and so this causing problems in the marriage because she was not willing to reveal her true self. This is part of who she was. And it's difficult to go back and deal with those issues. But as a husband and wife, you need to be transparent with each other. You need to be understanding of the issues that you're dealing with uh and the things that you've gone through in life. And uh our job is to love and accept him as they are.

Cinderella felt like the prince could not love me and accept me as who I really am. And so often that's what causes the problems in our relationship. And he changed her by accepting her for who she was. And and that's what we need to learn too. God loved us and changed us. He didn't say you have to change for me to love you. But because of his love, he has changed us. And that's what we need to do in our relationship as well. You see, look over at Ecclesiastes chapter 9 in the Old Testament. Ecclesiastes, right after the book of Proverbs, which is after Psalms. Uh Ecclesiastes chapter 9. You know, I wish that some couples that are married would put as much time and effort into their marriage as they did to get together.

It seems like we put more effort and work into finding the right person and getting that right person to marry us. And then all of a sudden, we stop trying. We stop working at it. And the work really starts after you're married. In Ecclesiastes chapter 9 and 9 and 10, it says, "Live joyfully with thy wife, the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the son, all the days of thy vanity, for that is thy portion in this life, in thy labor, which thou takest the son. Whatsoever thy hand findth do with thy might, that there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave with thou goest."

He said, "Listen, live with that wife of your youth and and put the work and the effort into the relationship and make it work." And so, you know, it's not just enough to find that person you're going to marry, but we've got to realize we've got to understand and know one another and put the work and effort in. In the book of Ruth, the story of Ruth who uh was uh uh was was married to Esther's sons, you know, and they died. They were in a foreign country and they died. And then Esther was going to go back to Israel and and she told her daughter-in-laws, "You can stay here." And one of them said, "I'm going to stay."

And Ruth, the other one said, "No, I'm going to go with you. Wherever you go, I'm going." And she went with her, but she was a a a single widow lady. And and so that was a very difficult thing, especially back in that day. And she got there, and there was man named Boaz. And and you you can kind of read the love story in there where they kind of fell in love with each other. And then eventually Boaz said, "You know what? I'm going to take her as my wife. And when you read the story in Ruth chapter 4, what he did is he gave a shoe to the person who was responsible for it. He he said, "Here, here's my shoe."

And and you think, "Well, that's really romantic, but it was according to that day. It was part of their customs and everything and and all the rest of it." You know, everybody's got a little different engagement uh processes and traditions and all. And uh this is what happened here. And uh I don't think he likes my preaching there. Uh but uh I want you to understand in in Ruth chapter 3, the book of Ruth, which is just a little bit before Psalms and all that, uh it's right after 1 and 2 Samuel and 1, 2, Kings and Chronicles and everything. And in the book of Ruth, um I want you to look at Ruth chapter 3 and verse number 18.

Ruth chapter 3 and verse number 18. I got to get there, too. I'm just having trouble turning my Bible here. Ruth chapter 3, Judges before this, for saying I'm got I got it backwards in my mind here. So, Jud Judges and then Ruth is right after it. I apologize, but again, Ruth chapter 3 and verse number 18. In Ruth 3:18, the Bible says, "Then said she, sit still, my daughter, until they thou know how the matter will f fall, for the man will not be in rest until he have finished the thing this day." Ruth uh Esther said to Ruth, "Listen, you can trust Boaz. You can trust him." Now, Ruth had that character.

Remember when she uh when Naomi Naomi Naomi said to her, "You can stay here." Uh she said, "No, where you go, I go, and I'm going to follow you everywhere." And she was very faithful and very trusting. But she learned that she could trust Boaz to to do the right thing. And and you have to learn to trust your spouse. Too often we don't trust our spouse. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 to believe all things and hope all things, endure all things. It's it's a matter of believing the best in the other person to hope that this time is going to be different and to endure to be willing to put up with it until we can get this problem resolved.

And we you ladies have got to learn to trust your husband. In Proverbs 31 and verse number 11 and 12 and husbands got to learn to trust your wife. It says, "The heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall not have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." You see, does your husband trust you? Does your husband trust you? I remember there's a time that we had some friends over and and they wanted to go shopping. The ladies wanted to go shopping for shoes, I think it was. And and uh when they were getting ready to go, uh one of the ladies said to me, "Well, we're going shopping.

How much can your wife spend?" And I said, "Whatever she whatever she thinks." I trust her. And the lady said, "That's not fair." She said, "You ought to give her a number because she won't spend uh she's she's she's more she's tighter than you are. She won't spend the money." But you know what? You've got to be willing to trust your spouse. You got to be willing to trust that they're going to do the right thing. That they're going to do what's right for your marriage, what's right for you, what's right for your relationship. In 1 Peter chapter 3:es 5 and 6, it says, "For after this manner in the old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being a subjug husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are as long as you do well and not afraid with any amazement."

You know, ladies, you got to trust your husband. And and I I know I'm a husband. I know sometimes you can't trust us. Sometimes uh you know it ends the verse by saying that and are not afraid with any amazement. I think what that means is a lot of women look at their husbands and say what's what's wrong with you? And they they're amazed sometimes at the dumb things that we do, you know, and and uh and and you know sometimes I think you ladies think how how can he be smart enough to marry me and dumb enough to do what he just did. You know sometimes it's amazing how dumb we can be, isn't it? And sometimes it's hard to trust your husband.

And that's why the Bible says who trusted in God. If you can't trust your husband, then trust God. Put put your faith in him. You see, he uses the example of Sarah and Abraham. And do you know the story of what happened with them? Sarah and Abraham, they were traveling. They were kind of like nomads and they came into a new new area. and uh and and and Abraham comes to Sarah and says, "Listen, I want you to tell everybody you're my sister because you're so beautiful that I'm afraid they would kill me and take you away if they knew that we were married." And it was more protection for her as his sister than it would have been for her as his wife in that culture.

And and so he told her and so what happened is one of the kings of that land said, "Hey, she's so beautiful." He took her into his bedroom and it would have would have raped her if if God hadn't intervened. Abraham was a jerk. And in that he not only did it once, he did it twice. And yet God uses her and him as an example of trust. Because when you can't trust your partner, you can trust God. Now, it's not a blind trust and let them do whatever they want to do, but it's a trust in working out that relationship. And you've also got to pay attention to your spouse. Go over to first to Song of Solomon, chapter 4.

Again, right after Ecclesiastes and Proverbs is a song of Solomon. And I want you to turn to chapter 4. Song of Solomon is a love story. And if if you've never read it, you need to read it. But read it as a love story. and what it is. And one of the things in the Song of Solomon is that Solomon is constantly complimenting his bride. And and yet there's a little bit lost in the translation. Some of the compliments don't seem real nice to us. For example, if you look at uh Song of Solomon chapter 4 in verse number one, he says, "Behold, thou art fair, my love. Behold, thou art fair. Thou dove's eyes within the locks.

Thy hairs is a flock of goats that appear from Mount Gilead." Now, that's not too bad right there. He says, "You're beautiful. You got beautiful eyes. You got beautiful hair." But then in verse number two, he says, "Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing whereof. Everyone bears twins, and none is barren among them." You know what he's basically saying there? Hey, you got all your teeth. You got all your teeth. That's his compliment. And then you go down to chapter, go over to chapter 7 and verse number four. Chapter 7:4. Thy neck is as a tower of ivory.

Thine eyes like fish pots in hebron. By the gate of Babylon, thy nose is at the tower of Lebanon, which look toward Damascus. You not only got all your teeth, lady, you got a big nose. And then he goes on in chapter 7. Look at verse number two. Thy navl is like a round goblet which wanteth no liquor. Thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with liies. You're kind of fat. I mean, these compliments don't sound my my favorite is verse one. How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, oh prince's daughter. The joints of thy sides are like jewels. The work of thy hands are as cunning workmen. You know, it's basically saying you got ugly feet.

Put your shoes on. I I mean, it doesn't sound real real romantic to us, but if you read it in the Hebrew and you understand their culture, these were very romantic things. He complimented her, and that's something we need to learn to do. You know what? In my job as a counselor, I hear all the complaints. But you know, there's a very little spelling difference between complaints and compliment. And if we could stop complaining and start complimenting more, it would change our relationship. And we need to learn to compliment one another and and uh to praise one another. In Proverbs 31 and:es 28-31, Proverbs 31 and verse number 28, it says, "Her children rise up and call her blessed.

Her husband also and he praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelst them all is excels them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that fearth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of thy hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." You know, we're celebrating Mother's Day today, and it ought not just be on Mother's Day or anniversary and birthday, but we ought to take time to to compliment and to praise one another and uh in in all things. And something we need to learn how to do more often and do more faithfully as well. And so, we need to we need to learn to praise and then also uh she wants to know that she satisfies.

In Proverbs chapter 5, it talks about being satisfied with the wife of the youth. And and every husband, every wife wants to know that you satisfy me. You meet my needs. And and and he and and what's most important is not what's on the outside, but what's on the inside. Let me ask a question. How many of you ladies here have ever had your husband one time in your married life compliment your shoes? Raise your hand. Not a lot of hands up here. Uh because we be honest, we we just don't notice. My wife will say to me, "How do you like my shoes?" That's the only time she'll get a compliment. And my and my answer is always, "They look nice."

I don't care if they're ugly shoes, they look nice. I've learned that a long time ago. But you know what? We as men are not as concerned about what's on the outside as we are on the inside. I know a lot of ladies that spend hours going through the shoe rack. You my wife wife and I go over to the mall or store. It's one of the things I know inevitably we're going to end up at the shoe rack. When my girls were little, we'd go by in the cart by the shoe rack and they start throwing their shoes off and get all excited about looking at shoes. Something about women's shoes. And you ought not spend more time worrying about what you're putting on your feet as you are about wearing what's on the inside.

In first Timothy chapter 2, God talks about it's not the outward adorning, but it's the inward man. And that's what we need to work on. So, Cinderella has some lessons to teach us, but so does Snow White. Or is it Sleeping Beauty? I get those two mixed up all the time about the poison apple and all the rest of that. Uh, I believe that was Snow White. You remember the poison apple? And a lot of us, we throw poison apples into the relationship. It said about Winston Children Churchill one time that a woman once said to him, "If I were married to you, I would put poison in your coffee." And Winston Churchill said to her, "If I were married to you, I would drink it."

You know, when you're watching, if you've ever watched Snow White, what's one of the things you're doing there? When the when the when she gets the apple, everybody's Don't bite it. Don't bite it. Don't bite it. It's kind of the same thing with Eve. Remember Eve? When we read the story, we think just don't bite the apple. Now, we don't know if it's an apple or not, but the point is don't let the poison apples in your relationship because once you bite those apples, it will destroy your relationship. One of the poison apples is bitterness. In Colossians 3:19, husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.

And when you as a husband or a wife become bitter, it's like taking a bite of that poison apple. Don't plant that tree in your garden. In Hebrews 12 and verse 15, looking diligently any man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled. And when you plant that root of bitterness, it's just going to keep growing back again and again and again. Don't let it take root in your life. You know what the problem with a lot of couples is? We mow down the weeds instead of pulling them out. If all you're doing is mowing the weeds, you're going to have them back again next week.

What you've got to do is you got to put the effort into go digging them out. We have a weed tree in our backyard that grew huge and it was getting me a problem. And I cut it down and guess what? It grew back. And I cut it down. Guess what? It grew back. Finally, last time I got tired of that and I cut it down and I started working on that root until I killed it. I said, "I have to kill the root or it's going to keep coming back." And some of you, you are fighting the same problems again and again and again and again because you got this root of bitterness and you won't let go of it. And maybe you cut it down, but it comes right back again.

And when it comes back, it comes back even stronger than before. Don't plant that tree in your garden because it's going to keep growing. In Ephesians 4:es 31-32, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice and be kind one another, tend to heart, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. It starts out at bitterness and then becomes wrath and anger. It just keeps growing and growing and growing. And you've got to forgive. Whatever it is, you got to forgive it. Don't hold on to the bitterness. Or another poison apple in our relationship is strife.

In Proverbs chapter 21 9, it says, "It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than with a brawling woman in a white house." In verse 11, it's better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman. You know what? I've seen a lot of relationships that the problem is your spouse can never be good enough. For a lot of couples, this is constantly strife. And no matter what I do, it will never make you happy. I had one guy tell me one time, "The only thing that's going to make my wife happy is if I leave her. I can't wash the dishes right. I can't make the bed right. I I try to do this and it's not enough.

or if I do it right then there's always something else that I need to do and just constant strife you'll ne that just never can make you happy that never can satisfy you is never good enough or another problem is a lack of intimacy in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 the Bible says that the husband is is for the wife and the wife is for the husband they're not to deny one another except for a time lest Satan get an advantage and when a couple is not being intimate with each other. That's not of God. It's of Satan. You can justify it all you want. I don't feel like it. I don't enjoy it. Whatever. I'm mad at him.

I'm mad at her. All the reasons why. But when you are not intimate, you are disobeying God and you are giving a door open to the devil. Another poison apple is pride. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and verse number four. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 is the love chapter and it says that love suffereth long and is kind and love envi not and love vaunteth not itself is not puffed up. That puffed up pride early on when we were married the first five years of marriage I was a lousy husband. I wouldn't admit it back then but I will now. My wife is too nice to say that, but it's true. And one of my problems was I I thought I knew everything and I didn't need help.

I remember my wife coming to me and say, "Hey, there can can we go get some counseling from the pastor?" And I said, "No, cuz I I was too proud." I remember there's a conference coming up for marriage. He said, "Can we go to the conference?" I said, "No, I've been to Bible college. I know it already." And I was too proud. too proud to be willing to admit I need help. Too proud to to learn and and how I can be a better husband and to get counseling and that pride is like a poison apple. Don't bite it. Then there's selfishness. 1 Corinthians 13:5 does the love does not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinkketh no evil.

A lot of relationships, the problem is one of one or both of them are narcissist. Narcissists think more about themselves than they do the other person. It's always the other person's problem, not my problem. Narcissists, you know, they're the kind of person that when they drive their car and they run out of gas, they get out of car, kick the car, and say, "Stupid car." Who's the stupid one? The one that putting gas in the car. And if your relationship, if your spouse is not what they should be, maybe you've let let them run dry in their tank and you need to refill their emotional tank. See, we're so focused on ourselves, we're so narcissistic and so selfish, it's like a poison apple.

Then in Ephesians chapter 4 verse number 29, the Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of the mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may it may minister grace unto the hearer." In chapter 5 and verse number four, the Bible says, "Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks. Corrupt communication, you stupid. I hate you. I don't want to be around you. Boy, those are poison apples." instead of being good to the edifying to building up. You don't build something up by tearing it down.

You got to get rid of those poison apples. You know, sometimes we think, you know, just let's just kiss and make up. And that's a good thing. But one kiss does not fix everything. Good example in the Bible is Judas. After he betrayed Judas, he came to the garden and gave him a kiss. But that didn't change things. And sometimes we got to come to the point realize just kissing makeup is not enough. Now there's nothing wrong with kissing. I I kind of like it. In Song of Solomon 1:2, it says, "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine." In Psalms 85:10, it says, "Mercy and truth are met together.

Righteousness and peace have kissed each other." And there's nothing wrong with kissing. I think it's a great thing to do. I think you ought to make it a habit. When when I was teaching on marriage, one of the things we required is that every day you had to give your spouse a 10-second kiss. And boy, I had couples come said, "That alone has changed our marriage." And and kissing is a great thing, but listen, just just a kiss is not going to fix all your problems. I I think one of the most honest fairy tales is the story of the prince princess and the frog. In all the other fairy tales, the prince had to give a kiss to a beautiful princess.

Now, for you single guys here, would that be very hard? If I came to you as a pastor said, "Listen, we got a problem. One of our girls has fallen into a deep sleep and and the only going to wake her up is the kiss of a handsome prince." Now, the other problem is we probably have a tough time finding the handsome princes in our church, church single group, but that's another problem. But if I went to one of you singles, said, "Listen, you're going to have to kiss the most beautiful girl you've ever seen in your life." Would that be hard? Would I have to twist your arm really hard on that? Probably not.

But if I had a wart covered, slimy frog in my hand and went up to you girls and said, "You need to kiss this frog and turn him into a handsome prince." Would that be kind of hard? Yeah. You see, it's easy to kiss the beautiful princess, but sometimes you got to kiss the ugly frog. And some of you thinking, "I do that every day in my marriage." But that's a different story too. Tears are only good when they are genuine. In Hebrews chapter 12, 2 Corinthians chapter 7 without time to turn there to talk about the difference between being sorry and sorrow. I have a lot of people that are sorry for what they said.

They sorry for what they did. They sorry for all the bad things that happened. But there's no real godly sorrow that changes you. Sorrow changes us. Tears by themselves don't change us. Tears are good and they have their place, but we need to have godly sorrow. In all these stories, one of the things that the girls are waiting for is my prince will come or my princess will come for the guys. By the way, did you ever notice that Prince Charming is a biggamist? He's in about four different fairy tales. So, he's married to four different princes. He's a biggamist. And I found out this week, I think my wife is the bigamist, too.

Now, you say, "Wait, how do you say that?" I lost my phone. I couldn't figure out where it was. And so, my wife said, "Hey, Siri, call my husband." Which one? My husband one or my husband two? So, my wife and I are going to get some counseling after this is all over. It turns out husband one is uh my cell phone and husband two is my work number. So it's okay. But when I first when it first said which one I think what you know this is not working out for me. But you know Prince Charm was a big turn over to 1 Samuel chapter 1. 1st Samuel chapter 1. You're married to the person you're married to. good, bad, or ugly, they're the ones you chose.

We talked about that last week. And one of the things we need to realize is what destroys marriages so often is things like depression. And depression is a genuine problem and a lot of people go through it, but we allow it to control us instead of learning how to let God control us. In 1 Samuel chapter 1, you know the story of Hannah and she really wanted a baby and and uh 1st Samuel chapter 1 beginning with verse number six, it says, "And her adversary also provoked her sword." Now her adversary of course is the devil's our adversary, but it was also her sister and and all the story there. But for to make her fret because the Lord had shut up her womb as he did so year by year when she went up to the house of the Lord.

So she provoked her therefore she wept and did not eat. And by the way, I don't think her sister purposely said, "Nah, nah, I have a baby. You don't have a baby." I don't think it was on purpose. Just the fact that she had a baby hurt. If you're a woman who can't have children, Mother's Day is a tough day. It just hurts. And in verse number eight, it says, "Then said Elna her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? And why eatest thou not? Why is thy heart grieved?" And I love this last statement. "Am not I better thee than hsons?" He says, "Listen, you don't need children. You got me." And she cries more.

That's what my wife usually does. That's part of the problem. And maybe he wasn't exactly being understanding the way he should have been, but you know what happens so often when you get into depression? You lose view of the good things in your life and all you can think is about the bad things. And because you're so focused on the bad things, what do you do? You end up losing the good things you have as well. And that's the danger of depression. You need to see what's good in your life. You know what the best things in your life? Your prince has already come. Isaiah chapter 9 and verse number six.

For unto us a child is born. Unto us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulders. His name shall be called wonderful counselor, the mighty prince of God, the might and the everlasting father, the prince of peace. Your prince has already come and that's Jesus. And your prince is looking for you in Luke chapter 19 and verse number 10. For the son of man has come to seek and to save that which was lost. He's looking for you because he loves you. He loves you unconditionally. These these princes, they love the beautiful princess. But God says, "Even in your sin, I still love you."

Romans chapter 5 and verse number eight. But God commendeth or showed his love towards us in that while we're yet sinners, Christ died for us. Your prince loves you more than anything. He cannot love you more than he did the day he died for you. In 1 Corinthians chapter 15, it tells us that the love story of God, how he died, he was buried, and he rose again. All because he loved you and wanted to save you from your sins and take you to his home in heaven forever. But you must receive him. How many of you are married today? Raise your hand. Come on. put it down. That wasn't even hardly thinking about it.

I know I'm married. How do you know you're married? Because there's a day, a time, and a place you looked at each other and said, "I do." And accepted each other. Now, if I were in a little while, I'm going to ask that same question with heads bowed and closed, a different question, and that is, how many know that you're saved and going to heaven? And the way you can know that is because you said I do to Jesus Christ. In Romans chapter 10:es 9 and 10, it says that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shall believe in thine heart that God has raised from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. In Romans 10:13, for whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. I'm married because back in 1978, March 25th, I said yes to my wife. I accepted her love for me. And I'm saved because as a 14-year-old boy, I said yes to Jesus Christ and accepted his love for me. Do you know you're married? Yeah. Do you know if you're saved? You can know that, too. 1 John 5:es 12 and 13. He that hath the son hath life. He that hath not the Son of God hath not life. These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, that you may believe on the name of the Son of God.

Do you know that for sure today? I don't know what else is going on in your life, but I do know this. There's one great thing that can happen for you, and that's salvation. That's Jesus Christ, the one who died for you. But in your marriage, you need to understand this. Your spouse cannot do for you what only God can do. You know what destroys a lot of marriage? We're looking to our spouse to make us happy when only the Lord's the one who can make us happy. In Genesis chapter 30, it says, "And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister and said to Jacob, give me children or else I die."

And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel and said, "Am I God in in in God'sstead whoath withheld from you that I through the womb?" He said, "I'm not God. I can't do that." And ladies, as long as you expect your husband to make you happy when only God can make you happy. Or men, when you're looking to your wife to make you happy, when only God can make you happy. In Psalms 118, uh, verse 8, it says, "It better trust in the Lord than put confidence in princes." And listen, God, your husband, your wife cannot make you happy. Only God can. And when you demand of them only what God can do, you're going to be disappointed every time.

But husbands will also be like Christ. In Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." We are to love one another. Ephesians 3:1 19, "Know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fullness of God. Not in him is able to exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that workketh us. We're to love our wives. We're to sacrifice as Christ sacrificed for us. We're to be a servant of one another. The Prince of Peace has shown us what true love is all about. And that's the kind of love we need to apply to our relationship as well.