Husband King

You may be seated. Let me acknowledge for you right away. It's warm in here. We understand that. We've had some difficulties with our air conditioner the last couple weeks and we're trying to get it worked out. Thought we had, but obviously not. But, uh, now that you're not putting out a hot hot air with the thing, it'll cool off a little bit. So, uh, actually, it's colder downstairs than upstairs. So, those downstairs got it made down there. All right. Turn your Bibles to first 1st Samuel chapter 16. 1st Samuel chapter 16. We're doing a series that's titled Marriages Made in Heaven but Lived on Earth.

And we've been going through and looking at the different marriages in the Bible, what we can learn from each of them. And the last two weeks, this week and last week, have been the ones I've kind of dreaded. H how do you say anything good about Solomon with marriage? I mean, they had 300 wives and 700 concubines. Uh there wasn't a lot, but we did learn something from him. And this week is another one that's difficult to learn about marriage, and that's David. I mean, David broke up a marriage. He he had a man killed so he could marry his wife and committed adultery with her before that. And uh so he's a tough one as well.

And so in order to understand what we can learn from David about marriage, we need to understand David first of all. So I'm going to share some thoughts about David and then we'll talk about how what we can learn for our marriage from there as well. And a lot of this is from a series I did called King Me when we looked at the different kings in the Bible. And uh David is one of the kings of course the very first uh famous king that we know of. Uh but when we look at him in 1st Samuel chapter 16 and verse number seven it says but the Lord said unto Samuel look not in his countenance or the height of his stature because I have refused him.

For the Lord seeth not as man seeth. For man lookth on the outward appearance but the Lord lookth on the heart. And so when God chose David to be the king he was the smallest and scrawniest of the brothers. But God chose him not because of his outward appearance but because of his heart. Look at verse 11. And Samuel said unto Jesse, "And here are all thy children." And they said, "There remainth yet the youngest, and behold, he keepeth the sheep." And Samuel said unto Jesse, "Send and fetch him, for we will not sit down till he cometh hither." And he sent and brought him in. Now he was ready and with all of a beautiful countenance and quickly look at.

And the Lord said, "Arise, anoint him, for this is he." Then Samuel took the horn of the oil and anointed him in the midst of his brethren. And the spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel rose up and went to Rama. Now, when you look at David's life, uh h how do you narrow it down to just one thing? You think of David, you you think of the fact, for example, I have a commentary in my library, a book called the books of treasury and the treasury of David. And there's it's two volumes just on David's life. There's so much you could write about and preach about. He was a shepherd boy.

He was uh he defeated Goliath. Uh his friendship uh with Jonathan, he wrote most of the Psalms. He had some great victories as a king, but as a husband, that's where we kind of have trouble there. And uh if if you want to talk about David, you you've got to talk about Acts 13:22, where it says, "And when he removed him, he raised him up unto them, David, to be their king, to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David, the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfill all my will." So God called David a man after his own heart. Now we know that David was not perfect.

But in first kings chapter 9 and verse4 after David had died, God referred to it this way. He said, "And if thou will walk before me as David thy father walked in integrity of heart, in an uprightness to do accord all that I have commanded thee, and will keep my statutes and my judgment." Now, how could God call David a man of integrity after what he did with Basheba? He committed adultery. He all but had her husband murdered. And then he married her because she was pregnant. Now, how can you call him a man after God's all own heart? How can you call him a man of integrity? The word integrity means sincerity of purpose and single-hearted devotion, not silences.

So, you have integrity. It doesn't mean you never do anything wrong, but you have a singlehearted devotion, a a a sincerity, a purpose. Integrity is like having a compass. Now, you know what a compass is, right? A a compass is something that kind of oldfashioned but still usable that you can help you to find your way when you're lost out in the woods. In Psalms chapter 26, turn over there with me if you would. Psalms chapter 26 and look at verses 1-12. Psalms chapter 26 and beginning with verse number one. Psalms 26. I've got a new Bible I'm using today. So, pardon me if I take a little time turning to the passages.

They're in different places now. But Psalms chapter 26:1 says, "Judge me, oh Lord, for I have walked in mine integrity. I've trusted also in the Lord. Therefore shall not slide." Now, this is David talking. And I want you I want you to notice one thing about him is he says that I have walked in my integrity here in Psalms 26. But everything he wrote after he committed his sin with Basheba, he never called himself himself again a man of integrity. God called him a man of integrity. But David would not use that term for himself. He says, "Examine me, oh Lord, and prove me. Try my reigns in my heart.

For thy loving kindness is better is before mine eyes, and I've walked in thy truth. I have not sat with vain purses, neither will I go and with dis dissemblers. I've hated the congregation of evildoers and will not sit with the wicked. I will wash mine hands in innocency, so I will compass thine altar, oh Lord, that I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, tell of thy wondrous works. Lord, I have loved the habitation of thy house, and the place where thine honor dwelleth. Gather not my soul with signals, nor my life with bloody men, in whose hand is mischief, and their right hand is full of brides.

But as for me, I will walk in mine integrity. Redeem me and be merciful unto me. My foot standeth in an even place in the congregation will I bless the Lord. Now, by time, we could look in there where he talks about integrity, being being around the right people and not the wrong people. Integrity being in the house of the Lord and the congregation of God's people. There's a lot that we can learn from that passage. But what I want you to see here, look at verse number six. It says, I will watch mine hands in incasy. So, I will compass thine altar, O Lord. And so, integrity is like a compass. The word compass means to turn to turn about or around or side or back towards, go about or around, surround and circle.

That's what the word integrity is. It's kind of like a like a compass. It's like putting a circle around the altar of God, he said. And it's having a compass. Now, with a compass, a compass is like is a circle. And as you know, a compass always points north. Now, right now, I want you to help me out. Everybody, including those downstairs, I want you when I when I say now, I want you to point to the north. Everybody do that now. Point to the north. Everybody, come on. Everybody got your hands up. Everybody point to the north. Okay? If you're not pointing that way, you're wrong. Okay? You see, you got to point the right direction.

In John 12 and verse 32, it says, "And if I be lifted up from the earth will draw all men unto me." See, God is like that compass. The north pole draws that compass to the north. And God says, "I want to draw you to me." A and that's what integrity is is is our our point. We're pointing towards God. We're being drawn towards God. In Acts chapter 28:13, it says, "And from thence, we fetched the compass." They were on a ship and they were trying to get direction. Those of you in in the military, especially Navy, know that if you don't have all the GPS, the rest of it, you can look at the compass and you fetch a compass.

You say, "This is north and we want to go west, so this is the direction we got to go." You determine what way to go. And and so we need to fetch a compass. In Matthew 6:33, it says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." And so God says, "Listen, if you're a man or a woman of integrity, you're going to look to the north where God is. You're going to put God as the north of your life, and you're going to fetch a compass. You're going to set a direction for your life because a compass will guide you. When you're out in the wilderness, you take that compass, and it guides you which way to go."

In Psalms 26:1, "Judge me, oh Lord, for I have walked in mine integrity. I have trusted also in the Lord, therefore I shall not slide." He walked in his integrity. He followed the guidance that God was giving him. In Proverbs 11:3, the integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the perversess of transgressors shall destroy them. And so, we want to have that guide, that north in our lives that guides us in the direction to go. Now, when you're following a compass and you're going the wrong direction, you don't turn the compass to change your direction. You've got to turn yourself. See, the compass will always point north.

But you've got to change your direction. In 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and I will forgive their sins and heal their land." You see, God says, "Listen, don't change the compass. Change the direction." If you're going the wrong way, you can't just turn the compass and say, "Now, I'm going the right way." You've got to turn your life. You've got to change your life. You've got to find the true north of your life. In Psalms 75:es 6 and 7, it says, "For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south, but God is the judge.

He puteth down one, and setth another. establish God as your north. See, for some people, they've established promotion as their north. I I want to get promoted. So, everything I'm gonna do is gonna Now, I don't think it's wrong when you're up for promotion. You get all the check marks and do all the things you need to do. But we had a guy in the church years ago when we first started. He was faithful. He's active. He came. He says, "Pastor, I I want I want to be a deacon one day. I'm not ready now, but I want to be that." And he was in all the church service. He was serving the Lord. But then it came time for a promotion.

And he got so involved in in getting that promotion that he stopped coming to church. I I have to do this pastor. He got so involved he stopped serving the Lord. And pretty soon he wasn't come to church anymore because he lost his true north. And when you allow something else to take become the north of your life. When you allow something to to set your direction, then you're going to lose that integrity. You cannot have two north. If you take a compass and you set it down and put a magnet by it, what's going to happen? That compass is going to turn towards the magnet. In Matthew chapter 6 and verse 24, the Bible says, "No man can serve two masters.

For either you hate the one and love the other, or else he will hate the who will hold the one, despise the other." You cannot serve God and mammon. You see, you can't let other things become the magnet in your life. You can't let other things draw you away from God. You got to keep that focus on the Lord. In Deuteronomy chapter 30 and:e 17 it says, "But if thine heart turn away so that thou will not hear and be drawn away and worship other gods and serve them." See what happens is we allow something to draw us away from our true north. We allow something to become that magnet to pull us away from God.

And that's when you lose your integrity. So make sure you are going the right way. When you have that compass, you want to use it to make sure I'm going the right direction. Now, many of you just a moment ago asked you to point to north. Some of you are pointing that way. Some are pointing that way. Some are pointing that way. Listen, I don't want you navigating. You know, the Bible says in Proverbsap 14:12, there's a way which seemth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. You you can't say, well, I think this is the right way to go. Because we often are wrong. We have to say I need to make sure this is the way that God wants me to go.

It's not what seems right to you, but is what is right to God. In John chapter 14 verse 6 verse number six, it says Jesus saith to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh unto the father but by me. Are you on the right way to heaven? There's a lot of people will think, well, the way to get to heaven is is by religion. If you're in the right religion, you'll get to heaven. Other people think the way to get to heaven is is through rituals. You got to be baptized or you got to be catechized or something else like that. And other people think you just got to be good. You know, your own righteousness.

You got to be a good person. If you're a good person, you'll go to heaven. But Jesus said, "No, there's only one way. And I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by me." See, it's not your way to heaven. It's God's way. And you got to make sure you're on the right way. In Ephesians 2:8:9, it says, "For by grace are you saved through faith, then not of yourselves. It's the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast. And you're not going to get to heaven through your religion or your rituals or your righteousness. It's being on the right way, which is Jesus Christ as your savior.

You need to put your faith and trust in him to ask Jesus into your heart." In Romans chap 10:es 9 and 10 it says that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shall believe in thine heart that God has raised from the dead thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. In Romans 10:13 it says, "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." And today make sure you're on the right way. And the way to make sure that is to follow the compass of God's word. And Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."

He died to save you from your sins, to give you eternal life. And you need to put your faith and trust in him. Make sure of your salvation. You see, when you're out there in the woods and you're lost, you want to make sure you're going the right way or you're just going to get more lost. And make sure of your salvation. In 1 John 5:es 12 and 13, it says, "He that hath the son hath life. He that hath not the son of God hath not life. These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the son of God that you may know that you have eternal life and that you may believe on the name of the son of God.

You see, you can know you're going the right way, not because you think it is, but because you know it is. When you have that compass, you can see where north is and you can see that you're going the right direction. And you can know that you are going the right way if you have Jesus Christ as your savior. And so, make sure you're going the right way today. make sure you're on the right way to heaven. But the other thing is when he says back in Psalms chapter 26 and verse 6, I will compass thine altar, O Lord. It's not only that he has this compass that guides him. But it's also another kind of compass, one that you're familiar with, one that looks like this.

You ever seen one of these? Probably remember back probably around fifth, sixth, seventh grade, somewhere in there, you started using one of these. Remember when you got it the first time you were poking your buddy with a point over there? Yeah, I know you guys. you're as bad as I am. And and what is this for? This is so you can make a circle that you can you can have that circle and and and David said, "Listen, I'm going to put the altar at the center of my life and I'm going to draw a circle around that and that's where I'm going to stay. See, I want to compass thine altar." In Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 15, it says, "See them that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise."

The idea of the word circumspectly is staying in that circle to draw the circle around the altar of God and not to step outside that circle. That's what it means to have integrity. Integrity is hard to get and easy to lose. It's hard to get and easy to lose. David found that out in Job chapter 2 and verses 9 and 10. Then said his wife onto him. Does thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God and die. But he said unto her, "Thou speakest as one of the foolish woman speaketh. What shall we receive good at the hand of God? And shall we not receive evil?" In all this did not Job sin with his lips.

See, Job retained his integrity even through a challenging difficult time. And you know when you're going through challenging times, when you're going through difficult times, when you're facing temptation, it's easy to lose your integrity. You got to make that determination. I'm going to compass that altar. I'm going to stay in the center of God's will in my life. See, David started well in 2 Chronicles 17:3. Now, again, this is after David's died. This is what talking about one of the later kings. This is what God said about him. And the Lord was with Jehoshaphat because he walked in the first ways of his father David and sought not unto Balam.

In the first ways. You know, a lot of people, they start good in their walk with the Lord, but then they mess up and lose it. There's a book we have in our bookstore. It's called Fourth Quarter. It's an excellent book. If you're in 45, 50 or above, I'd recommend you getting that book. And then there's another one the same author wrote called Overtime. And a lot of Christians, they they do well to begin with, but then they lose it in the fourth quarter. You ever watch a football game like that? They were winning first quarter, second quarter, third quarter, but then they lost the game in the fourth quarter.

They started out well, but they did not finish well. And we need to make sure we stay faithful to the Lord and being your integrity is a lifetime struggle. In Hebrews 12:es 1 and 2, it says, "Wherefore, seeing we are also compass with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which does so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race is set before us. looking onto Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and is sat down at the right hand throne of God. You know what?

Integrity is a lifetime struggle because there's those besetting sins. There's those things in our lives that we struggle with for our entire lives. You know, it's like alcohol. You know, an alcoholic is an alcoholic for the rest of his life. He may never take another drink, but he's still an alcoholic because he can still fall right back into it. And it's a lifetime struggle to maintain your integrity. You can do great today and then lose it tomorrow. And of course, David's problem was sexual sin. And that was a lifetime struggle for David. It's interesting when David was dying in First Kings chapter 1, you can go and read this later on, but when he was dying, when he's really sick, you know what all of his servants said?

Hey, I know what'll cheer him up. Let's go find a young girl and put him in bed with him. Now, I believe David had gotten victory over his sexual sin, and I'll show you why in a moment here. But because it had been so much a part of his life for so long, that's the way people thought about him, even his servants. And I and you know the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 18, flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committh fornication sinnth against his own body. Every sin has consequences, and every sin separates us from God. And they're all equal in that way.

But certain sins have unique consequences. And the Bible especially focuses on fornication, sexual sin, pornography, and porna, the the sin of fornication, adultery, and says this has unique consequences in your life and the life of others as well. And David definitely proved that out. In Psalms chapter 25 and verse 7 it says, "Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions. According to thy mercy, remember thou me for thy goodness sake, oh Lord." I believe that sexual sin was a sin of David's youth. I believe it something he started when he was a teenager when he was a young person. Most people struggle with pornography.

It starts as a teenager. They found dad's stash or some other teen brought something to school and it starts there. But you know what? A lot of these young people think, "Well, when I get married, it won't be a problem anymore." It still is. It becomes a lifetime. There's things that you start as a teenager that become lifetime struggles. You deal with the consequences. You deal with the memories. You deal with the struggles. Now, yours may not be sexual sin. Yours may be anger or depression or covetousness. But those sins that we allow in our lives when we're young are sins that we often struggle with for the rest of our lives.

And David did. And David's other sin that he struggled with was pride. In 1 Chronicles chapter 21 and 1 2 Samuel chapter 24, David numbered the people. God told him not to do that. And why did he number the people? Because he wanted to see well, you know, it's like it would be like me counting how many are church. Say, look, I got all these people in church. And it's pride. It's about you. It's not about God. and and God told him not to and David got in trouble for that. And you know, there's a there's a fine line between pride and confidence. When David stood before Goliath, it wasn't pride that said, "I can beat you."

What did he say? God is with me. Uh God can beat you. And folks, sometimes we forget it's God and not us. And we let that pride take control. And that's what David did. And pride goeth before destruction, a hotty spirit before fall. So pride will destroy you. And it did David. And it'll cost you to get your integrity back. You know, when you lose your integrity, it's easy to lose it, but it cost a lot to get it back. After David had sinned by numbering the people, he was being judged of God. And what he did is he wanted to build an altar to God. And in 2 Chronicles chapter 24, 2 Samuel chapter 24, you can go read this later.

He he what? He said to one farmer, he said, "I want to build an altar on your land." The farmer said, "Well, I'll give it to you, king." And David said, "No." He said, "I will not give God what doesn't cost me something." And understand this, when you lose your integrity, there's a cost to get it back. You got to humble yourself. You got to be willing to ask forgiveness. You got to be willing to make some changes in your life. You lose your integrity. And it's easy to lose. It's hard to hold on to. And you lose your integrity, it'll cost you something to get it back. So the Bible says that David was man after God's own heart.

And then first Kings 11:4, it says this, "For it came to pass when Solomon was old that his wives turned away his heart after other gods because they turned him away from God." Now that will happen when you get around wrong people. And his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God as was the heart of David his father. Okay, we talked about Solomon last week. You go back and list online, but his heart was not perfect towards God as was the heart of David. Now, we know David messed up, too. He had more than one wife. Maybe not as many as Solomon. He had committed adultery. So, how could God say that David's heart was perfect and Solomon's was not?

Now the word perfect here is a unique word in Hebrew. It means this idea. It comes from as I understand it comes with the same word we get the word shalom from. You've all heard that which means peace. And he's saying this that his heart Solomon's was not at peace with the Lord his God as was the heart of his father. ee David wasn't perfect. He was far from it. But the thing about David is he got right with God and had peace with God. In 2 Chronicles chapter 25 verse number two it says and he did that he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord but not with a perfect heart. See I told you last week you can do what's right what's good and not acceptable.

Something be good and not acceptable to God. Right? Well, I want to tell you this week, you can do something that is right in the sight of the Lord, but not with a perfect heart. You can do the right thing, but not with a heart that's right with God. Remember that. Isaiah chapter 26:es 3 and 4, that thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee, trusting the Lord forever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength. Remember what David said? I will compass thine altar. I'm going to make the altar the center of my life. My His mind was stayed on thee.

And that's what we need. We need a whole heart. Go through Psalms chapter 119. It's the longest chapter in the Bible. And over again, verse 2, verse 10, verse 34, verse 58, verse 69, verse 145. I will give my whole heart to the Lord. You know what the problem with a lot of us in the room? We've given God only part of our heart. We've held back parts of our heart for other things and other people. Now, don't get me wrong, as a married guy, you ought to give your heart to your wife, but you can give your whole heart to God. She doesn't take the place of God. She's part of that love for God. God is looking for people with a perfect heart, a heart that is at peace with him, not without sin.

David was had sin. 2 Chronicles chapter 16 verse number N. For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect towards him. Herein thou has done foolishly. Therefore, from henceforth thou shalt shall have wars. He's looking for somebody with a perfect heart. Not that never does anything wrong, but really has put God at the center of their life. And when they get out of that circle, they get back into it. They get back right with God. That's what David did. So, we need a broken heart. Some of you in this room will never see a change into your in your marriage until your heart is broken.

Not broken by your spouse, but broken unto the Lord. God's got to break your heart. I remember in my marriage, you know, I'm the uh we'll talk about this another point, but I'm I'm the lion otter and the lion's kind of the king of the jugle jungle and always right. It's my way or the highway. And my wife is a retriever beaver. and retrievers, they just they agree with everything you say and they just want you to make decisions and and you just tell them what to do. And that was great in dating, but after we got married, I won every argument in our marriage for the first two years of our marriage.

Every argument. I just figured it's because I was right, my wife was wrong, and she knew it. But what was happening, she was the puppy dog and wouldn't speak up. And and she was what I was doing is I was winning every battle, but I was losing the war. She was closing up to me. And I remember the day where she did speak up. At first it was like, you ever had a little Chihuahua bark at some big dog and you laugh that little thing? And at first it was like that. It was kind of like, you said no. But then I saw the tears and then she opened up her heart to me. and ladies, you got to open your heart to your husband and told me how much she was hurting.

And all of a sudden, my heart was broken and I wept because I had hurt my wife. I would not allow another man to do what I did to her, but I did it. And you got to have a broken heart, not only in your marriage, but just towards God. In 2 Samuel 19:4, but the king covered his face, and the king cried a loud voice, "Oh my son, Abselin. Oh, Abselin, my son, my son." Abselin was a result of his adultery. Because he had committed adultery, God said, "Your children rebel against you." You know what the Bible tells you? The Bible tells you onto the third and fourth generation, you will pay the price.

When you sin, it's not just you. It's your children and your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren. And Abselin rebelled against his father. And Abselin was killed. And and and when David heard it, he wept. He just wept bitterly because he understood it's my fault. This is because of what I did. And it broke his heart. In 2 Samuel 12 13- 14 says, David said unto Nathan, I've sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said unto David,"The Lord also hath put away thy sin. Thou shalt not die. How be it because of this deed, thou hast great given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blasphe. The child also is born of thee shall surely die."

David repented. He took full responsibility. I did it. It's not God's fault. It's not anybody else's fault. It's not Bashibba's fault. It's not her husband's fault. It's my fault. And he took ownership of that. He repented and he was willing. And he also understood there's consequences. And he prayed God would change the baby died because of his sin. And he prayed for that baby. He said, "God can be merciful, but that baby's not dying because God's being God. That baby's dying because I blew it. It's my fault." And folks, David's repentance is the key to understanding why God could call David a man of his own heart.

You got to understand he repented. In Psalms chapter 32 and Psalms chapter 51, David said, "I have sinned, it was me." And until you're really willing to repent and ask God to forgive you, in Psalm 51, David used a personal pronoun I think was 18 different times. I did it. And that's why he was a man after God's own heart. Not because he never messed up. All of us do. but because he had found peace with God through forgiveness. 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all righteousness." David reaped what he sowed. Do be not deceived.

God is not mocked. For whatsoever a man seweth, that shall he also reap. And we often miss our opportunities to get right with God. Later on in 2 Samuel, David had an opportunity to get to to see Abselin and resolve things and he and he was still so upset with Abselin. He didn't do it. And that's after that is when Abselin died. Don't miss the opportunity to save your marriage. Don't miss the opportunity to save your children. Don't miss the opportunity to get right. So after all that, David was not perfect in that he never did anything wrong. He struggled with sexual sins and pride. But he was a man that found peace with God despite his sin because of forgiveness of God and he got it right with God.

So what can we learn from David about marriage? Well, his first wife was a young lady named Mikuel. Mikuel was Saul's daughter. And if you go to Psalm 1st Samuel chapter 8 real quick with me, 1st Samuel chapter 8 and look at verse number 17. 1st Samuel chapter 8 and verse number 17. And that's not the right one. You think it should be 2 Samuel. Let's try 2 Samuel chapter 8. I wrote in the wrong reference, I think. And that's not it either. I'll give it to you later. But the point is it this is a computer error by the way, not mine pro. Yeah. Point is what it says in the passage. It says that she loved David.

Do you know that's the only place in the Bible that ever talks about a woman loving a man? The only time it says that she loved him. There are other places. My you remember when we talked about uh Isaac. Isaac the Bible says he loved her uh Rebecca. He loved uh uh Rebecca and and other places talks about man loving. And the Bible tells us that husbands are to love their wives. But it's the only place where it says she loved him. So this was a marriage of love. It was clear that they loved each other. And if you go to 1 Sam uh 1st Samuel chapter 19, let's see if I get it right this time. 1st Samuel chapter 19 in verses 10-1 17.

1st Samuel chapter 19 beginning verse 10. Let's see if I got right here. And Saul, Saul, this was Mikaya's father, Mikuel's father, sought to smite David even to the wall with a javelin. He threw a javelin and missed him. And then David went home and Saul decided he was going to kill David. And so he sent for for to their house. Remember, he's David's married to his daughter. And he sent soldiers to get David so they could kill him. And she told David, "Climb out the window. I'll put she she made onto the bed like your kids do when they don't want you to think when they want you to think they're still in bed.

They put onto the pillow and made it look like it was still there. And she protected her husband. Now, let me make a point especially for ladies, but it goes both ways. Protect your spouse from the world around them, including your own family. wives or husbands that call mommy and complain about their spouse are doing wrong. This was difficult for her. This is her dad and her husband. Who do I support? And she chose to support her husband. And if you want a good marriage, stop bringing your parents. The Bible says to leave your father and mother and don't complain about your spouse. Second thing here though is later on she did become critical in 2 Samuel.

David was coming home from battle. He bringing the altar back to Jerusalem and they had a big parade coming into town bringing the altar back and David was at the front of the parade and he was just dancing and shouting. He was hallelujah the altar's back where it belongs. and she looked out the window and saw him and she was embarrassed by it. And when he got home, the first thing he he she did when he walked in the door says, "What were you doing dancing in front of all the people, you know, and you weren't even fully dressed like a king supposed to be dressed? You were dressed in common clothes like everybody else.

What were you doing?" And she just was so critical of him. If you look at 2 Samuel, I want you to see this. Look at 2 Samuel chapter 6. 2 Samuel chapter 6 and verse number 20. Then David returned to you there yet? Look what it says. Then David returned to those are there. What's the next word? Bless his family, his household. And what does she do? Mikuel the daughter of Saul came out to meet him David and said how glorious was the king uh of Israel today who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids in his service as one of the vain fellows shamelessly and uncovering himself now it wasn't naked he just wasn't wearing his pre his kingly robes and and she just immediately started criticizing he was coming home to bless his family and she started criticizing two two things here fellas when you come home from work come home to bless your family Put work aside.

Get rid of all that garbage. You've been yelled at and, you know, all kinds of problems all day long. Put it aside and come home, bless your family. Come home to bless your family. But ladies, don't be critical all the time. Now, I need my wife every once in a while tell me, "You did something stupid." She She'll do that after a sermon. We'll get in the car and says, "You said something. You're in trouble for her." And I need that. But she says it out of love, not out of criticism. But Mikuel, she was just totally critical of him. She was embarrassed by him. And ladies, when you criticize your husband all the time, you're going to live with the wrong kind of situation.

Don't be critical. She criticized the way he worshiped. You know, one of the things I that bothers me today is how people criticize how other people worship. Now, I may not want to worship the way they do, but that's between them and the Lord, not between them and me. In the Bible, you have people shouting when they worship. You have people crying when they worship. You have people lifting up their hands when they worship. You have people clapping when they worship. And even here, like David dancing, not the kind of dancing we think of a bar. It was he was just he would just praise God. He was jumping all over.

Now, we're a little more conserved how we worship, and that's okay. But I'm okay with somebody wants to raise their hand. I'm okay with somebody wants to say amen. Don't criticize the way other people worship. And that's exactly what she did. She said, "You worship God. I don't like the way you do that." Romans chapter 14 10- 11. But why dost thou judge thy brother? Why does thou set it not thy brother? For we should all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it's written, as I live, say the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, every tongue shall confess. Listen. worship God and don't worry about how other people worship God.

Some of you are so busy criticizing other people worshiping God, you're not worshiping God. Amen. And then she should have rejoiced with him. He's coming home all excited. They got the altar back. Got a great victory. He's all excited about it. She walks in the door and right away she criticized him. She could have waited till later to discuss that and she could have made some good comments that might have helped him but instead she just starts criticizing. Romans 12 15- 16 rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one towards another. Mind not high things but condescend to men of low state.

Be not wise in your own conceits. Listen, you want to get have a better marriage, start rejoicing with your spouse. Well, I don't like it when you know if his football team wins, rejoice with him. If she goes to the store and finds a new dress, rejoice with her. You may think this is stupid. But that's not your place. Rejoice with them. Rejoice and weep with them. Rejoice. And if you do have a criticism, don't start out with it at least. Sometimes it's good to say, you know what, that's my problem, not their problem. And other times, yeah, we need to talk about this, but we can do it later. When I get in the car after church, I don't want to hear my wife the first thing she said, "You did something wrong."

I want to say, "Hey, that was a great sermon, but you did this." That I'm okay with. But start with the positive. And a lot of marriages are struggling because they haven't done that. And the other thing about David's marriage that we can learn is sex addiction will ruin you and your relationship. David had at least eight wives and Solomon had a thousand women. But I wonder how many men in this room have had a thousand women through pornography. That's ruining your marriage. Matthew chapter 5, you look upon a woman lust in your heart. It's a sin. And when you look at that woman on the pornography, you are comparing her to your wife, whether you believe it or not.

And she's going to be the loser. Not because she's ugly, but because nobody can compete with what's on that video or what's on that internet place or what's on that that uh magazine. It's not fair. And you will never be satisfied. In Proverbs chapter 5, he says to be satisfied with the breast of wife of thy youth. But when you're looking at a thousand different breasts, you're not going to be satisfied. You know, most guys with pornography, it's just one more. One more. One more. And pornography will take, it's like lays potatoes ships. It will take over. And that's a lie of the devil. And then David repented and confessed. Psalms chapter 51. I did it. It was me. Nobody else's fault. And listen, in your marriage, if you want to have a better marriage, confess your sins to God and resolve it with your spouse. Honey, I'm sorry I was so critical of you. I should have stopped and rejoiced with you. Please forgive me. Now, that's what you got to do. Let's bow for prayer.