Mary & Joseph

Jesus name we pray. Amen. You may be seated and turn your Bibles to Matthew chap 1. Matthew chapter 1 18-2. We're going to continue our series on marriages made in heaven but lived on earth. And as we look at this series, I wanted to share with you uh we're going to look at a a marriage that's well known in the Bible and that is Jo Joseph and Mary and what we can learn from their marriage as well. So if you look at Matthew chapter 1 and verse number 18, it says, "Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise. When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

Then Joseph her husband being a just man and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately. But while he thought in these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet saying Behold a virgin shall be with child and shall bring forth a son and they shall call his name Emanuel which being interpreted is God with us.

Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him and took him in unto him his wife and knew her not until she had brought forth her firstborn son name called Jesus. Now we don't normally read those verses except at Christmas time. We think of it as a Christmas story, but yet Mary and Joseph were a married couple. And as a married couple, they faced some of the same challenges that you and I and and unique challenges in their relationship as well. And I think there's things that we can learn from their marriage. A and the first thing I want to mention is that uh this was an arranged marriage.

It it was an arranged marriage. If you look at Matthew 1:18, it says that uh when Mary was a spouse to Joseph and back in that day, uh they didn't choose each other. Uh they were matched together either by the parents at sometimes even at birth would have a child and say, "Okay, we're going to we're going to engage this child to this other little baby over here and they're going to get married when they grow up." Or they would go to a matchmaker and they would find someone for them to marry. And and so they didn't get to choose. It was very likely that Mary and Joseph were an arranged marriage.

And so I thought, you know, as an illustration of that, what I'd do is have brother Ricky, uh, they've got a son, Ricky, come on up here. And they've got a son, Jeriah. So, Brother Rick is going to come and tell us which of the babies in the nursery he's going to choose for Jeriah's wife one day. And we're going to go ahead and set up that marriage right now as an arranged marriage. Go on, say that, Ricky. All right. Um, you can imagine what that would have been like, though. You we think of it today. Boy, no way. Uh could you imagine if your marriage if your parents chose who you were married to?

My mom would have gone out and found found the ugliest, meanest girl she could have found just to get revenge on me for being a teenager, you know. And uh and yet this was an arranged marriage. They did not choose each other. Uh they were chosen for each other even before we read about him here in the Bible. In Matthew chapter 6 and verse number 33, the Bible says, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." You know, most of everybody in this room was not an arranged marriage. You chose who you're married. But also, we realize as Christians that God matched us up as well.

And you know, if you're single today, uh you ought to start praying, "God, find me the right match." How how many of you have ever watched the movie Fit on the Roof? Anybody here ever watched that? Uh if you get a chance, it was a good movie. It was back uh was a number of years old. But in that movie um it was talk the family in there they were matchmaked. All their daughters were matchmakers and and they had a song. It said matchmaker matchmaker make me a match. Find me a find, catch me a catch. Matchmaker, matchmaker. Look through your book and make me a perfect match. And you know what? Before you get married, you want to find that perfect match.

And even before you start looking for it, the ones that really are going to help provide that perfect match are the parents. Even though they may not choose who you're going to marry, parents, you need to realize that you are raising someone's future wife or husband. Do you ever stop and think about that? You're not only raising your child, but you are raising a wife or a husband for somebody in the future. In Ephesians chapter 5 and:e 31 it says, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. And when they leave you, you are preparing them to go to a husband or a wife and to be that right kind of spouse."

And so we as parents need to raise our children to be the right spouse. In Proverbs chapter 22 and verse 6, the Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he's old, he'll not depart from it." and train your children to be a godly wife. Train your your sons to be godly husbands. Train them to be the right kind of person. Start when they're little talking about what it means to be a godly man, to be a godly woman, to to love their spouse, and to do the right thing. Set and also set a godly example. Uh a problem for a lot of marriages today is they never had a good example in their parents' marriage.

In 2 Timothy chapter 1 and verse 5, Paul says to Timothy, "When I call to remembrance the unfamed faith that is in thee, which dwelt first, thy grandmother Lois, thy mother Ununice, and I persuaded thee also." You know, it's interesting. Paul talks about the testimony of his mom, Timmy's mom, and his grandmother. But he doesn't mention his dad. And as far as we know, his dad was not in the picture. Maybe because he was dead, maybe because he was unsaved, or maybe because he had left to his mom. We don't know that for sure, but we never saw a dad in Timothy's life. And yet, even this single mom was able to.

And maybe she didn't have a good marriage. And maybe uh she had a lot of problems in being a single mom, but she raised Timothy to still be a godly young man. And you may have challenges and you may have problems, but your responsibility in life is to set a good example of a marriage for your children, for their future as well. And I think also as parents, you ought to start praying for your future, your child's future spouse. Now, the Bible says in Genesis 24:12, "And he said,"Oh Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day and show kindness unto my master Abraham." Abraham has sent his servant to go and find a wife for his son Isaac.

And before that servant ever went looking for the girl, he started praying to God first. And and folks, the day your children are born is the day you need to start praying for their future spouse. In fact, even before they're born, you can pray for who they're going to marry. You may not know their name, but God does. And and you need to pray for them and and pray with them for their future spouse. In 1 Samuel 1:es 10 and 11, it says, "And she was in bitterness of soul and prayed unto the Lord and wept sore. And she vowed a vow and said, "Lol Lord, if of hosts, if thou will indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaidaden, and remember me and not forget thy handmaiden, but will give unto thine handmmaid a child, a man, a manchild, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life, and there shall a razor come onto his head."

Before he was even born, before he was even conceived, she was praying for that child. And you need to pray for your children, for their future marriage. You need to pray for their future spouse. You need to pray with them and for them as you prepare them to be someone's wife or someone's husband. And young people, singles that are not married, uh you need to pray for your spouse. Go over to James chapter 4. James chapter 4, book of James chapter 4 and:es 1 through3 is you need to pray for your spouse. Now, you may not know your spouse's name yet, but you can still pray for them. In James 4:es 1-3 it says, "From whence come wars and fightings among you, come they not hence even of your lust that you war in your members.

You lust and have not. You kill and desire to have and cannot obtain. You fight and war yet you have not because you ask not. You ask and receive not because you ask and miss that you may be consumed upon your lust." Uh you should be praying for God to send the right person to match you with the right person for your life. And you should start praying for that person now. uh whoever they are because God is preparing them to be your spouse one day. A and we need to as parents pray for our children and their future spouse. And as young people and as singles, you ought to pray also for your your first day of your wedding, you woke up next to a stranger, because you thought you knew him, but you really didn't, did you?

I don't know about you, but I really thought I knew Diane before we got married. Then then I started living with her, and she thought she knew me, and then she had to start living with me. And all of a sudden, who is this stranger? This is the person that you chose. And the Bible says in Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it." You know, in that movie Fit on the Roof, there's another song. It's uh sung by the the the main character, the father, and both he and his wife had also had an arranged marriage, and they've been married for 25 years.

Then and it was coming up about love and talking about love and he he said this in the song for 20 he said do you love me that's the title of the song and in that song she answers back for 25 years I've washed your clothes cooked your meals cleaned your house given you children milked your cow after 25 years why talk about love right now but you know what they determined that they yes yes they did love each other now this was an arranged marriage and in the Bible when the Bible wrote husbands love your wives He was writing to men that did not choose their wives. That often they didn't even know for sure who they were married until the wedding day.

And yet God commanded them to love their wives. How much more would he command you and I to love our wives? See, love is not just a feeling, but love is an action. It's something we do. In the Sunday school class, we brother Humbart looked at 1 Corinthians 13, the the love chapter. and love suffer long and is kind. Love envth not. These are all things that you do whether you feel like it or not. And we're commanded by God to love our wives. And ladies, the Bible never commands you to love your husbands, but it does tell you this in Titus 2:4 that the older woman may teach the young woman to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.

Most wives have no clue how to love their husbands. And it's a lifetime learning process that you have to learn how to respond to him in love. A and that includes submitting to your husbands. In Ephesians 5:es 22- 24, it says, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be their own husbands in everything." Don't fight your husbands. Come together and work together as a team. the husbands. It says that it's easier to submit to a husband that's sacrificing and serving like Christ does the church.

And and your wives will find it so much easier to submit when they know that you love them unconditionally. When you know that you will sacrifice yourself before you sacrifice your family and when you they know that you are there to serve them. But wives, submission is not just saying do what you want to do. I don't care. It is coming together and working together to make it happen. It's it's coming together as a team in love. In Ephesians 5:33 it says to wives nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even. And the wife see that she reverence her husband. Husbands men we men need respect.

Now you say well my husband's not respectable. So are a lot of officers in the military. But you still do this don't you? You still you say yes sir. Yes ma'am. You see respect is not earned always earned respect is given. And what I have found when I give respect then they want to live up to that respect. When my wife respects me I want to be respectable. When my wife disrespects me I end up being more disrespectable. And so you have a lot of control here ladies. And God calls you even though you chose that guy. You say he's he's not very respectable. Well you chose him. You say, you say, "Well, she's not very lovable."

But you chose her. Joseph and Mary had no choice in the matter. And yet you do. And you need to choose to love your spouse. You need to choose to respect and love one another. Go back to Luke to the book of Luke chapter 1. Luke chapter 1. We also read the story here of Mary in verse number 26- 27. It says, ' In the six months, the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto the city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin espouseed to a man whose name was Joseph of the house of David, and the virgin's name was Mary. Then look at verse number 34. Then said Mary unto the angel, how shall this be? How can I be pregnant, seeing I know not a man?

I'm a virgin. You know, in Isaiah 7:14, the Bible says, "Therefore, the Lord himself shall give you a sign. Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son and shall call his name Emanuel. You know, there are some translations that use that say a young maiden shall conceive. There's no miracle in that. It's a virgin. And Mary was a virgin who conceived. You say, "Well, how is that possible?" Well, with science today, it makes it more, you know, we understand a little bit better the whole process, but in the in the end, we have to believe in God who can do anything with his own creation. But my point is this.

Mary was a virgin. I looked up on Google how many people today are virgins when they get married. Do you know what the percentage is? 5%. God would have a tough time finding a marriage in today's society. 5% of people getting married are virgins. 10% among Christians. We're not doing a whole lot better. And folks, look at First Thirst Thessalonians chapter 4. Turn over there with me if you would. 1 Thessalonians chapter 4. I want to challenge you. If you want to be used by God, you need to be pure. In 1 Thessalonians chapter 4:es 3-6, this is for this is the will of God. even your sanctification that you should abstain from fornication.

That's God's will that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor not in a lust of concupisence which means whatever I want whatever feels good do it even as a Gentiles which know not God that no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any manner because uh the Lord is the avenger of all such as we also have forewarned you and testified that phrase where it says that no man go beyond to defraud his brother in any manner. When you have sex with someone you're not married to, you are defrauding their future spouse and yourself. As I mentioned in a previous mar message is that when you have sex before marriage, your marriage sex is going to be less because now you're going to have this comparison in your mind and now you're not you're not going to be able to give your spouse yourself completely because you've left some of it behind with somebody else.

The Bible talks about being glued cleaving to one another. And when you take anything that's glued and rip it apart, you're going to leave a little bit of both behind. And when you have sex with someone that's not your spouse, you are not only defrauding yourself, but you are defrauding their future spouse. And by the way, someone is defrauding you with your future spouse if they're having sex with them before you get married. Think about it. And I want to challenge you. Be one of that 5%. Make it 10%. Make it 11 and 12%. Bring the number up by being one that's going to keep themsel pure before marriage.

And by the way, don't be a technical virgin. You remember the story where they brought the woman to Jesus and and sorry, the story where Jesus met the woman by the well in John 4 16-1 17. Jesus saith unto her, "Go call thy husband and come hither." The woman answered and said, "I have no husband." Jesus said unto her, "Thou well said,"I have no husband, for thou hast five husbands, and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband, and that saidest thou truly." I mean, she was being honest, I have no husband, but she was living with a guy, and she had had five other guys before that. You know, we like to play games with this.

You know, you remember President Clinton, that wasn't sex. I never had sex with that woman. He was playing games with it. And we play games. Well, we never went all the way, but we went as close as you can get. What I want to challenge you is to be pure. Don't be a technical virgin. Be pure before the Lord and before your future spouse. Now, I understand there's some in this room, it's too late. You've already made that mistake. But you know what the great great thing about God is? His grace. In John chapter 8 verses 10- 11, the woman is brought before him in adultery. It says, "When Jesus had lifted himself and saw none but the woman?"

He said unto her, "Woman, where are thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?" She said, "No man, Lord." And Jesus said unto her, "Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more." Maybe you've messed up in the past, but you don't have to keep doing it in the future. You can say, "I'm at least going to be a virgin from today forward. I'm going to change it from today forward. I'm going to be pure. I'm going to stay away from pornography. I'm not going to I'm not going to do the things I shouldn't with the person I'm dating. I I'm going to stay pure and save it for marriage which is undefiled and blessed of God.

Go over to Romans chapter 13. Romans chapter 13. I want to ask you a question. Is it ever okay to cheat on your spouse? Is it ever okay to cheat on your spouse? The answer is no. Obviously, right? In Romans 13:es 8-10, the Bible says, "Owe no man anything but to love one another. For he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Thou shalt not covet. If there be any other commandment is briefly comprehended as saying, namely, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Love workketh no ill of his neighbor.

Wherefore love is the fulfilling of the law. When I say it's not okay to cheat your spouse, that includes from the day you're married on, but it also includes, I believe, from the day you were married before. Because when you have sex with someone else before you're married, you're cheating on your future spouse. You're taking something from them that belongs to them and giving it to somebody else. Mary was a virgin. And I realize in today's society, it is a tough challenge. And I feel sorry for the young people growing up today with all the temptations they're facing on online and on the internet and on TV and everywhere else around them.

It's tough to stay pure. And even for married couples, it's a challenge. But this is what God calls us to. And if you want God to use you, you need to stay pure. Then the third thing I see about Mary and Joseph is they had character. Go back to Matthew chapter 1. Matthew chapter 1. Look at verse 19. Then Joseph her husband being a just man and not willing to make her a public example was p was minded to put her away privately. Then look at verse 24. Then Joseph being raised from sleep as the angel of the Lord had bidden him and took onto him his wife. I mean he could have been mad. He could have he could have been angry.

He could have he could have beat her. He could have told everybody else about it. He could have just done he could have done all kinds of things, but he didn't because it was a man of character. The Bible says in verse 19 that Joseph was a just man. Now, a just man in the Bible means somebody that's saved, who's justified. Romans chapter 5 and verse number one, the Bible says, "Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." The word justified is the idea as just as if I'd never sinned. Every one of us in this room is a sinner. You may never committed adultery.

You may have never had sex outside your marriage, but you're still a sinner. You've lied. You've cheated. You've said things you shouldn't say. You've gotten angry. You've deceived others. I mean, we the list goes on and on. And every one of us in the room says all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. There's not exception in this room. But I can be justified before God just as if I'd never sinned through Jesus Christ. The Bible says in Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." When he died on the cross, he did not die to pay for his own sins.

He died to pay for yours and for mine. And when we trust him as our savior, when we put our faith in Jesus Christ, he takes away our sins. In Ephesians 2:8:9, it says, "For by grace are you saved through faith, that not of yourselves. It's the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast. We're not saved by our good works. We're not justified because we go to church or because we we got baptized or catechized or because we're a good person. We're justified through Jesus Christ through our faith and trust in him. And when you call upon him, Romans chap 10:es 9 and 10, that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in thine heart that God is raising the dead, thou shalt be saved.

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto God. And then Romans 10:13, for whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. And if you've called upon Jesus Christ as your savior, then you are a just man. You are a just woman because you are justified just as if I'd never sinned. Look at Matthew chapter 1 and verse 21. I love this. And it says, "And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus, for he shall save his people from his sins, their sins." Jesus came to save you from your sins, to make you just, justified before God.

But ma Joseph was also a man of character. We know that by his actions before he even knew this was of God. He said, "I'm not going to make her a public example." And can I challenge you gentlemen here something? Don't make your wife a public example. I see husbands that the way they talk about their wife, I wonder why do you do that? 1 Peter chapter 4:8 says, "Above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves, for charity shall cover the multitude of sins." Don't take your dirty laundry, whether you're a man or a woman. Don't take your dirty laundry and air it out for everybody to see. Joseph had every right to stand up and say, "That's not my baby.

She cheated on me." He could have made it a public example. Divorces were a public example in that day. And he said, "I'm not going to do that. And yet there are husbands and there are wives in here that are complaining about your spouse to everybody and anybody that will listen, including your family. And that's not character. If you don't have anything good to say, then just shut your mouth. There was another baby born at that time. John the Baptist was born to Zacharias and his wife. In Luke 1 20 when God told Zacharias he was going to have a baby then Zacharias uh you know kind of argued with God and verse 20 says and behold thou shalt be dumb and not able to speak until the day that these things shall be performed because thou believest not my words which shall be fulfilled in their season.

God said Zecharias if you got nothing good to say then I'm not going to let you say anything. And that's a good practice. In Ephesians 4 29, it says, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that may minister grace unto the hearers." Not only did Joseph not make a public example of Mary, but I don't read anywhere in there where he was telling her off. Listen, if you don't have something good to say, then just shut up. Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth. That's good marriage advice. That's good life advice. Then Matthew chapter 1 verse 20 it says, "But while he thought on these things," that's the other thing I appreciate about Joseph is he he thought on those things.

Some men I don't know if they ever stop and think, especially before they speak. And he sat back and said, "Listen, I need to think about this before I react to it." and he thought and I believe he prayed and he listened to God. And boy, that's a great example for us to follow as men. But Mary, look at Luke 1 and verse 26 and 27. Let's see what we can learn about Mary. Luke 1:es 26 and 27 says, "In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God into a city of Galilee named Nazareth to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary." Now, Mary's name literally means bitterness.

And Mary could have easily gotten bitter. Think about it. This was probably around somewhere between she was probably between in that day between 13 and 15 years old. She was a teenager and she's pregnant out of wedlock in a society where that's bad. They kill you for that and she's going to have a child that's going to die a very violent death. She could have been bitter. Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:12, "Yay, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." Folks, let me tell you, if you're going to decide to live for God, sometimes God's going to call on you to do things that not everybody else is going to understand.

And sometimes it's going to mean you're going to suffer some persecution because of it. But instead of getting bitter, Hebrews 12:15 says, "Looking diligent lest any man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled." You know what's destroying most marriages today? It's bitterness. They've allowed that root of bitterness to to get in their lives and it keeps just growing and growing. They become more and more bitter. Maybe it's bitterness because of something happened to you when you were a child and you've carried it into your marriage.

Or maybe it's bitterness because of something your spouse did. But you've allowed that bitterness just to keep growing and growing and growing. In Ephesians 4:es 31-32, it says, "Let all bitterness and wrath and clamor and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away with all malice and be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake forgiven you." Both Mary and Joseph could have gotten bitter, but they didn't. And folks, what's destroying your marriage for many of you today is bitterness. and it's just eaten away at the inside of you. It's not poison.

It's poison is destroying your marriage and it's poison is destroying you. In first Peter chapter 3:7, it says, "Likewise your husbands dwell with them accord knowledge, giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel and as being heirs together the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered." Men, when you hold on to anger against your wife and don't let it go, you're going to be you're going to lose your marriage. What we can learn from Joseph of Mary is get rid of the bitterness. Get rid of the anger. Don't hold on to it. Stop and resolve it. Take time to think and to pray and then talk about it.

Work it through. In Luke chapter 1 and verse number 46, after Mary found out she was pregnant, she prayed a prayer. And it says, "And Mary said, my soul doth magnify the Lord." And for the next next about 10 12 verses, he's praying and just praising God, quoting scripture after scripture after scripture. She found joy in her salvation. In Luke chapter 1 and verse number 45, it says, "And blessed is he that believed, for there shall be performance those things which have were told her from the Lord." Then look at verse 47. "And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my savior." There are some that say that Mary was forever without sin, and that's not true.

Mary needed a savior just like you and I do. Every one of us needs a savior. And Mary rejoiced in her salvation. She rejoiced in knowing the Lord as her savior. Do you have that joy in your life? Then Luke chapter 1 and verse number 38. Luke chapter 1 and verse number 38 it says, "And Mary said, behold the handmade of the Lord, be it unto me according to thy word." And the angels depart from her. There's also joy in full surrender. You want joy, surrender everything to God. Surrender your life, your marriage, your family. Surrender it all to God. Romans 12:es 1 and 2 says, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable on you, which is your reasonable service, and be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

And Mary found joy because she said, "God, whatever you want, I'll do it." And that was that's what God wants from you and I. That's what God wants from us in our marriage. God wants us to surrender fully to him. We can learn from the marriage of Mary and Joseph and we can apply those principles in our own life as well. So what about you? Let's bow for prayer.